Women's Retreat Session 2- Foundation & Application
- Dec 4, 2005
- Series: Women
This session is going to examine the difference between being a man and woman biblically. Our goal is to demonstrate through scripture our calling and role as women within the church body. We will discuss what this means in context of being a wife, preparing to be a wife, or arranging your life as a single woman. We have already seen the devastating effects on the church and society when there is an absence of women who seek to glorify God. [see Session 1] Modern Christian women need to look to scripture for how we approach all aspects of our life vs. what we've been taught by our society and by the church today.
Intro - Men and Women
Within the church body there are many views of the roles of men and women and how they relate to one another. Most views fit in a variation of the following three categories:
Egalitarian – men and women are equal in all aspects and that there are no differences in roles and all should be given equal access to positions of leadership in the church. Any distinction in giving roles to men versus women in the Bible is based on cultural norms not because this is the way God intended it.
Hierarchical – men are superior to women and that men hold a higher place in both role and are in a privileged position. Men are to rule, while women are considered lesser.
Complimentarian – men and women were both created in God's image and neither is better or worse. In God's design he created men and women to complement each other and, as such, created differing roles for men and women.
The tendency in most churches today is to stress the equality of men and women by minimizing the uniqueness of manhood and womanhood. Part of the reason is because of the abuse and failure men have had in their role. As we discussed last session, as men failed, feminism took over and has swept our country over. When truth is abused, a rival position (in this case, feminism) that lacks logically compelling power can take on psychological compelling power. It is this reason so many people choose to believe in their viewpoint but do so based on feelings not on what is communicated in scripture.
Of these three views Covenant Baptist and Kaleo supports the Complimentariai view; that is, that men and women are created equally and they have different roles established by God. Let's look into this further.
Men & Women created Equal
There are two parts to the complement view; the first is that men and women are created equal. Let's look at what scripture says, starting in the beginning with Genesis chapter 1.
Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
It is the first time men and women are mentioned in scripture and God clearly states from the beginning that both men and women are created in God's image. No other thing created by God carries this same distinction, not even angels. We are both equal in worth and in value and there will be an eternal equal personal value in heaven.
Another illustration that speaks of our equality is that Eve was created from Adam's side. I believe this is a good symbolic picture that Eve is not in front or behind man, but along side as an equal.
Genesis 2:21-22 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
Further, it is important to note the men and women are both equally and indiscriminately given spiritual gifts, the Holy Spirit, participation in baptism, and are one in Christ. Galatians also tells us, according to salvation, there is neither male nor female, but all are one.
Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
This is the only place we can begin. Men and women are equal ontologically, meaning that our nature or existence is on equal standing. Understanding this negates the male hierarchical view that says that men are somehow better than women. In any situation where a man rules as a dictator or women are considered subservient or lesser in status, is against scripture and does not reflect the gospel but sin. Until we understand this, reflecting on our God-designed differences is worthless.
Men have a Different Role than Women
The second portion of the complimentarian view is that men and women have different roles assigned to them by God. This is not saying one is better than the other, but God's perfect design was to make them to compliment one another. This design was established prior to the fall where sin entered into the equation.
In the next session we will examine the specific roles of men versus women, which will include practical application, but first we will establish one idea: the foundational difference between a man and woman is that God designed man to be the head. All other differences spring from this idea. We can move no further until we understand this. But before we try to understand headship and submission, we must understand why a head is needed.
Covenant Understanding
Our God works through covenants. It is through these covenants that He interacts with man and establishes blessings, consequences and ultimately our hope in salvation. What do we mean by our God is a god of covenants?
A covenant is a particular relationship that binds people together as one (God and people, or people and people) by promised terms and loving grace. If one side fails, the other side is not released from the Covenant. The opposite of a covenant is a contract with terms that permit the relationship to end and the parties to continue as individuals. Throughout the covenants between God and the elect, the recurring theme is that He will be their God and they will be His people because He will send Jesus to forgive their sins.
In each covenant, God establishes a specific person to be held primarily responsible. In the Old Testament we see some of the covenants between God & covenant heads:
Adam (Hosea 6:7; Romans 5:12-21; I Corinthians 15:21-22)
Noah (Genesis 6:18, 9:9-17)
Abraham (Genesis 12:2-3, 17:2-21, Exodus 2:24)
Moses (Exodus 34:10, 34:27-28; Leviticus 24:45)
David (II Chronicles 7:18, 21:7)
God did not stop working in covenants in the New Testament. In the New Testament, Christ brought about the New Covenant. (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Matthew 26:28; Luke 22:20; Romans 11:27; I Corinthians 11:25; II Corinthians 3:6; Hebrews 7:22; 8:8-13; 9:15; 12:24).
Adam was the first Covenant Head. God created Adam to be the head over Eve and ultimately all men. Let's look at this in Genesis:
Genesis 2: 15Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. 16And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." 18And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." 19Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
Let's look at five observations regarding the order established with Adam & Eve:
1. Order of Creation - In this design, God created Adam first. Most of us would not consider Adam being created first to mean much today. If we brush past this we have missed something that is important. In the Bible this idea of first is important and carries with it great meaning. Q – What examples do we have in scripture that illustrate that the first has meaning? The family blessing was passed to the first born, we are told to give our first fruits, Christ was the first son before we were adopted in. Paul emphasizes this point in 1 Timothy 2:12-13 as he tells us a woman is not to have authority over men, “For Adam was formed first, then Eve.”
2. Adam names Eve –
Genesis 2:23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
Adam is the one who gives a name to woman. This pattern of naming begins with God in Genesis 1: 5, 8, 10, and 2: 19, 20, 23. God is in authority over all he creates and gives Adam the same over the animals as well as over woman. This pattern is recognized by the readers when the words of naming are the same that God used to call creation into existence.
3. Eve as Helper – We are told in Genesis 2:18 that God created Eve to be a helper for Adam. As Paul reiterates in 1st Corinthians.
1 Corinthians 11:9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.
Eve was created as a helper corresponding to Adam, to compliment him.
4. Adam held Responsible -
Genesis 3 1 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Has God indeed said, "You shall not eat of every tree of the garden'?" 2And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, "You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die."' 4Then the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die. 5For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." 6So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
Where was the husband during Eve and Satan's conversation? By her side.
What was the husband doing? Nothing. (This is a common sin of man.)
But continue reading:
8And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?" 10So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself." 11And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" 12Then the man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate." 13And the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
When the Lord comes, who is He calling out to? The man.
Who sinned first? The woman.
Who does the Lord hold accountable? The man.
We see the woman sinned first, but because of whose sin did all men fall into a state of death and sin? Adams
Romans 5:12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned--
1 Corinthians 15:22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.
We should love headship because this allows us to be under Christ's headship. Many of us want to reject the idea of being ‘born in sin' through Adam's headship, but again how can we rejoice in the salvation given because Christ is our new head?
Because of man & woman's sin, consequences came to change the relationship between man and woman as well as between God and man. God no longer allows them to stay in the garden but banishes them and in addition they receive different curses.
5. The Curses – Eve's desire to rule
Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."
This curse brought conflict between men and women. We are told as a result of sin; Eve will have pain in childbirth and desire to rule over her husband. This is the same term used in 4:7 as Cain is told Sin will desire to rule over him as well. Sin changes the perfect compliment God created. Now, instead of men and women living in harmony, men will be sinful and fail in their role. Women will now desire to not have a sinful head, man, and will instead want to rule and have authority over them.
Submission
Men do not call us to submit to them. God calls us to this. When we submit to our husbands, we are actually submitting to God Himself and obeying His command. We are called by God to respect our husbands. Some women may say “how can I respect my husband when he is not respectable?” You can respect him because God calls you to. Remember ladies…Our husbands are called by God to love us, even when we are not lovely! You are to respect the position God has given him as your husband, and the position God has given you.
Ephesians 5:22-24 “ Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
1 Peter 3:1-6 “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands”
1 Corinthians 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
1 Corinthians 11:8-12 “ 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.
11 In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”
Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
What Submission Is Not
Submission does not mean degradation. As we've discussed, men and women are equal. Submisson has often been abused. A lack of biblical wisdom on this subject has created a vast chasm between men and women. A false view of submission & the role of women is a rejection of what is shown in the Trinity. Jesus submitted to the Father (Phil. 2:5-8) and the Holy Spirit is called ‘the Helper' which is the same concept as Eve being the helper suitable.
Common False beliefs in Submission
• Having no say in decision-making process with husband
• Being a second-class citizen; being a lesser person than husband
• Forced to agree to clearly unbiblical or sinful practices spurred by the husband
• A ruling of men in general over women in general
Men being the Head does not mean ALL women are to submit to ALL men. Headship is only inherent in fatherhood and marriage. This can be a common misunderstanding which distorts relationships between men and women. Children fall under their parent's headship.
Not all men and women are created equal. There are women who have a far greater gifting and influence over the affairs of a church and/or society than most men. Again, women are not lesser than men, but, in relationship with a father or husband, they are equal. Prayerfully, they have picked a husband they respect and is someone who will love them sacrificially, as well as help cultivate them as a woman. In addition, the woman helps strengthen and shape the husband.
For those who are married these ideas shape how we live in marriage. If a husband sins it is his fault. If his wife sins, she is at fault and the husband is also responsible for this sin. We are never allowed to complain or talk bad about our husbands. In marriage, rejecting these truths means allowing us to view marriage as a contract, where divorce isn't breaking a covenant.
What Submission Is
• Giving of oneself to the Lord and the husband God has given her
• A command of humble service
• A command to be a helper to our husbands, supporting them in ministry and all aspects of life
• A command for individualism to be replaced by covenant
• A command that men are dominant in marriage
• A command that men need to be respected and women need to be loved
• A command that women use their strength to build up their husbands and be an encourager, rather than tearing them down
• A command that wives not be dominant or overpowering with an intent to rule over husbands
• A practical showing of the gospel
Being a Crown
Genesis 2:18 “The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 “For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”
Proverbs 31:12 “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
Proverbs 11:16 “A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth”
Proverbs 19:14 “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
Titus 2:3-5 “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Proverbs 31:10 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
Ephesians 5:33 “ 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Proverbs 5:18-19 “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
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