Kaleo San Diego Church

Last night Aaron and I came off the streets to enjoy a Missional Community in my home with our friends from church.  It was a sweet time.  My couches have never looked so good or felt so soft.  I am beginning to understand just how sleep depraved and tired living on the streets can be.  Even as I write this I am realizing that sitting on our couch on a Friday night might be the most comfortable place a homeless person sits all week long.  I am finding it very hard to move on from that thought right now.  The couch that sits in my home every day of the week, to be used whenever I feel like it, is likely the most comfortable place many of the people in our home on Friday night have experienced that week.  I can truly say that for the first time I don’t think I will be frustrated with the next person who falls asleep on our couch and snores loudly the whole time we are trying to have a Bible study.  Aaron admitted to me this morning that he was drifting off during our Missional Community last night and he had only spent one night on the streets… and it was our least comfortable couch. 

Not only is our couch very comfortable but it is also very hard to leave when you know that you will be spending the next five or six hours lying on a slab of concrete.  I finally got to experience what our homeless friends have been experiencing for over a year.  After Missional Community we got off the couch and walked out of my cozy home and got into one of the intern’s cars.  He gave us a ride and dropped us off in the parking lot that I have dropped Chris off at so many times.  Aaron and I said goodbye and walked back to find our slab of concrete. 

Chris was already asleep underneath the floodlight so we decided to sleep on the other side of the building.  It is darker and I was really excited about it.  We put our sleeping bags down and then all the sudden a car pulled into the parking lot and its lights shined on us and we booked it.  We left everything—our back packs, our sleeping bags, everything and ran to hide behind a bunch of trash cans.  We waited for a while and then finally the car left.  That was at 11:30.  Only a few minutes later as we were getting ready to lie down again a large camper pulled into the driveway and again we booked it.  This time we had to wait for like 20 minutes. 

At first we sat on the curb of the road and then we noticed that a house kept turning on their lights and we realized how awkward it was that we were sitting on the curb under a light staring at their driveway.  We decided the only way to not disturb people and look like we were casing their homes was to walk.  So we walked.  20 minutes later the camper left. 

Throughout all this time Chris had been sleeping undisturbed on the backside of the building.  We couldn’t believe he could just sleep there while people were so close.  We decided to move our sleeping bags back over by Chris.  We put the trashcans around us and bedded down on the ground because Chris had taken all the concrete on that side.  And then we noticed that the trash cans were full of spiders and we remembered the story we heard the first night and we moved back to the front of the building again.  This time we decided to stash our bags on the other side of the building so that if we had to book it we would only be leaving our sleeping bags and not everything. 

Finally, about 1A.M. we got bedded down and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the concrete.  We were so tired.  We slept straight through the night.  It was so amazing!  Of course the night ended at 5:30 A.M. when our alarm went off and we had to get out of there.  We tried forever to think of somewhere we could go to continue to sleep, but we couldn’t think of anywhere.  We ended up just walking the 3 miles to Starbucks and showering in their bathrooms. 

Almost every homeless person we talked to says they have the same struggle.  They can’t get into their spot until pretty late and then they have to be up before dawn.  And once they are up it is very difficult to find anywhere to nap during the day.  The lack of sleep really just dulls your senses and makes it hard to really enjoy the rest of the day.  You feel like you are just going through the motions.  I have never really associated being really tired with being homeless, but I am certainly beginning to think that I should.    

Being served

After spending the morning doing counseling at Starbucks Aaron and I caught the bus to Lakeside to a church that was doing a big “help the homeless event.”  It was definitely a weird experience being on the other side of being helped.  We got name tags, were given tickets, had to wait in long line and were given simple step by step instructions.   Everyone was really kind to us which made being associated with all the homeless a lot easier, however, we were both pretty self-conscious.  There was definitely a distinct difference between the helpers and those who were in need.  This is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately and trying to understand what it looks like to serve others in a way that unifies us instead of drawing distinctions.

Rest

And now Will (Will is another intern who has just joined our journey) and I are getting ready to put our packs on and walk three miles to sit in a Burger King for Whopper Wednesday until they close and kick us out.  And as I get ready to throw my pack on and begin the long walk I can’t help but think of Jesus’ statement in Matthew 11:28-29.  He says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” 

How often do our souls feel homeless?  How often do our souls feel like there is nowhere that they can stop and rest, nowhere that they can be refreshed?  How often do they find themselves running from one desire to another always hoping that the satisfaction and rest they are looking for is right around the corner.  Our souls can get tired can’t they?  Tired of working so hard to find something that will ultimately satisfy them; tired of being deceived and disappointed time and again just when they thought the rest they longed for was around the corner.  Oh how our souls need a refuge, a home, a place to rest. 

I pray that all of us with weary souls might hear the voice of our savior.  There is a safe place to rest.  There is a place that we can close our eyes without fear, a place of refuge.  There is one who knows how to handle our souls.  He knows that they are fragile and he promises to handle them with gentleness.  Oh how tired we are of having our souls recklessly thrown back and forth by those who only care about themselves.  I praise our God that we have a Savior who knows how to handle our souls.  I praise our God that even during the sleepless nights and early mornings we can find rest.  We can rest in the steadfast love of the one who will never leave us or forsake us.  Let all of us come to him tonight and find the rest that our souls have longed for.