Adoption in Christ
- Tim Cain
- Mar 6, 2010
- Series: Ephesians
Kaleo El Cajon
March 6th 2010
Ephesians 1:5-6
Adoption: Living as children of God.
Tim Cain
The topic I want to talk about today is extremely near to my heart and I believe that it is a topic that is radically applicable to all of us. I will never forget a few months after my wife and I were married we took our second trip to Uganda to work with an orphanage. Now we had been there before where we had made some friendships and going back again it was amazing how those friendship grew. One of the boys at the orphanage’s name was Junior and he was one of the brightest, nicest, most outgoing kids there. He was raising rabbits that he would breed and sell, he also had three other little businesses that he was running and he was only in the 8th grade. Junior was a sweet kid, he seemed like he had his life all together and he was really doing well. Him and Abbey became good friends and I will never forget going back to my room one afternoon to find my wife lying in bed crying. I sat down and we talked and she shared Juniors story with me. And she shared how much he missed his dad. How he didn’t understand why his dad had left him. He talked about how hard it was not having a dad. And him and my wife just bonded as they talked about how much they missed their dads. And I remember sitting in the room and watching my wife weep and feeling the tremendous pain that comes from loosing a father. Sitting there reminded me of all the hours Abbey and I had spent on the phone just after her dad had passed away. All the stories she had told me, all the tears she had cried and I was reminded of what a massive suffering came with loosing a father.
Then I remember as I sat there being so overwhelmed to think of all the pain that resided in my wife and in Junior. Then I started thinking of the hundreds of orphans in this place and all their stories and all their pain. And my eyes were opened again to what it meant to be an orphan. To be without a home, without a name, and without a Father. No protection, no security, no unconditional love, no safe place to simply be you and be loved, no one to share you secrets with and to know they won’t send you away. None of that. Instead, all you had is what you could earn. And we began to see under the surface, the insecurities, the fears, the hatred of authority, the fear of submission; the fear of relationship, the fear of exposure, and the fear of being rejected again was everywhere. Yeah there was laughter, yeah their was humor and there were games, many of them had found hobbies and skills that they had poured themselves into but underneath it all there was this massive fear of being known and being rejected. The more I thought about it the more I realized that they were not the only ones who felt this why. I realized that I too felt and acted like an orphan. I realized that even though most people liked me, I truly felt that if people really knew me they would no longer listen to me, they would no longer respect me, and they would no longer want anything to do with me.
You see all of us have experienced rejection in life. All of us know what its like to be hurt by those we trusted. And those pains have caused us to build walls. They have caused us to fear relationships, to fear being open and honest with others, to fear people seeing through our facades and really knowing us. They cause us to be defensive even when no one is attacking us; they cause us to be anxious about how we look, what we say, and how people view us. This is why we replay conversations in our heads to see if we need to apologize for something, we wonder if we offended people when we said this or that. We wonder why someone didn’t say hi, why they looked away when we made eye contact or why they laughed when what we were saying wasn’t supposed to be funny. You guys get what I am saying right? We all are plagued by this orphan identity. We feel the desperate need to earn approval and yet know deep down inside that we don’t deserve it and that is devastating. The only confidence we ever have is when we compare ourselves with others who have even more to be insecure about then we do and this allows us to mask our fears behind a false arrogant confidence.
What I am talking about is sometimes referred to as the orphan spirit and I believe it is something that all of us struggle deeply with. One author has posed the question this way.
Do you ever feel . . .
_ A gnawing sense of insecurity about relationships?
_ It is only a matter of time before I am rejected?
_ A need to protect yourself when getting closer?
_ A basic instinct to flee from relationships?
_ The need to make “exit plans”?
_ The need to daydream about “Plan B”?
_ The need to fight because others don’t have your best interest in mind?
_ The need to preemptively reject others?
_ An automatic suspicion of those in power?
_ The need to respond out of all proportion to unintentional snubs?
_ That disagreements, corrections, or constructive criticisms from others are
really masks for disrespect, dismissal, or rejection?[1]
- A gnawing sense of failure, that you’re never quite good enough?
- An inexplicable drive to succeed, win, or prove yourself?
Some respond to these feelings by throwing themselves into hobbies, or school, or work. Others throw themselves into relationships so that they are only happy when they are in some type of relationship. But all of us know that these are not the answers. We all know that there must be a reason that we feel this way and if there is to be any meaning in life there must be some sort of answer to these gnawing feelings. Today I want to talk about the answer.
Before we go to Ephesians I want to share with you a story from the Old Testament that illustrates our problem and foreshadows God’s ultimate solution. Back in the days of King Saul there was a child born to Saul’s Son Jonathan. He was a privileged child. He was the grandson of the king of Israel, he was the son of Jonathan, the prince of Israel, and his name was Mephibosheth. Now, at the age of five both his grandfather the king and his father Jonathan were killed in battle. His nurse was afraid because she knew that with Mephibosheth’s father killed there would be no one to protect him and he would likely be killed by whoever was trying to consolidate power and become the next king. She fled and while she fled with Mephibosheth he fell and severely injured himself. So at the age of five not only did he loose his family but he also became crippled for the rest of his life. I can only imagine what this child’s life was like growing up. He grew up crippled, with no inheritance, no father, no family, and always afraid that he would be found and killed. Can you fathom going through life crippled back in that time period? He was seen not only as an orphan but one cursed by God, his royalty had been ripped away from him, and he could never forget it. He could never forget it because every time he thought of being crippled, every time he saw someone run and play and work, every time he remembered why he was crippled. He was crippled because his Father had been killed and he had to flee for his life. Imagine the walls that he had put up. Imagine the fear of relationship, the experience of rejection that he felt. God himself had rejected him. He had taken the kingdom from his family, he had let his father die in battle, he had let him fall and become crippled, and he had taken away even the small inheritance that other Jewish families enjoyed.
And then one day Mephibosheth is called to go and appear before King David. Oh the fear in his heart. He must be afraid that he is finally going to be killed. That his time was over. That David was going to rid the world of Saul’s line forever. And as he appears before David he bows to him and says, “Behold I am your servant.” And David tells him good news. David tells him “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.” Do you hear that? That is amazing news. That is beautiful. What a blessing. But listen to Mephibosheth, he says, “What is your servant, that you should show such regard for a dead dog such as I?” Do you hear his doubt? Do you see his fear of getting his hopes up, his distrust of authority, his fear of relationships? He knows that he does not deserve these things and so he doesn’t feel like it is possible for him to get them. He is unworthy and so such blessings can’t possibly be for him.
And I love the fact that David doesn’t answer him. David knows that words are cheap to orphans. Words are cheap to heal deep wounds. Words are cheap when you have lived a life of rejection and loss. And so David simply acts. He simply keeps his promise. I want you to notice the three times that Mephibosheth’s eating at the kings table are mentioned. Notice the first time in vs. 7 the word always is there. Oh what an important word. At best Mephibosheth probably feels like David views him as a charity case and is trying to do something nice but soon his compassion and patience will run out. But then again when David actually commands that these things be put into action again we see the word in vs. 10 “But Mephibosheth your master’s grandson shall always eat at my table.” And then in vs. 13 the narrator confirms that this is what happened. Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate always at the kings table.” And in case any of you forgot. He was lame in both feet. He was cursed, rejected by society, he was a pain to move around, he was not worthy, not externally lovable, but he always ate at the kings table and vs. 11 tells us that the kings table was for his sons. Mephibosheth was treated like a son and he always ate at the king’s table.
I have told you this story because we are like Mephibosheth. We are dead dogs who deserve nothing. Ephesians 2 says we are dead in our trespasses and sins, sons of disobedience, children of wrath. Oh we were made to be children of the king. We were made in the image of holy God but all of that has been grossly marred and we are no longer worthy to be children of God. Though we were made to worship him, we like Adam and Eve have fled from his presence because of our shameful nakedness. We know we are lame. We know we have nothing to offer him, deep down inside we know these things and that is why we live in such fear. That is why we fear anyone truly knowing us, anyone really seeing our hearts because we know that our hearts are wicked. We fear authority because we know how selfish we are and how we abuse our authority and we can only assume that others will do the same to us. We fear letting others know us because we know that when we are quite and actually look within our hearts we despise what we see and if we can’t find ourselves lovable how could someone else ever love us? That is why I have told you the story of Mepibosheth. It is because his story is our story.
And Paul writes Ephesians 1:5-6 to a bunch of Mephibosheth’s. He writes it to a people who were dead in their sins and trespasses. He writes it to a people that were once “sons of disobedience and children of wrath.” Ephesians is written to a group of people who once lived like orphans. They were separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel, strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in this world.” And Paul comes to them in Ephesians 1:5-6 and says though you were once orphans I have good news for you. “In love God predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace with which he has blessed us in the beloved.”
Paul writes and says I have good news to all orphans. I have good news. God the Father has a plan and his plan is to adopt orphans through Christ. From before the foundation of the world God has determined that he will adopt into his family a host of orphans. That his table will be full. He has sent out among all the crippled, lame and blind an invitation and it is an invitation to dine at his table. It is a call to come to him through his perfect son Jesus and to dine with him always. Our God is an adopting God. He adopts orphans. For all of you who feel like an orphan tonight. For all of you who feel like those things I just read there is another way. There is another story. You don’t have to live like an orphan any longer. There is a God and this God is an adopting God. Paul writes to all those who love Jesus and says this, “in love your God has adopted you. He has adopted you as his children. You are no longer orphans. No longer slaves to sin. No longer dead, no longer an alien, no longer separated from him.” No, our God has adopted sinners; he has raised the dead to life again. And your adoption is not about you. I know you are lame, I know you were dead; I know that there is nothing in you that is lovable. I know these things but take care. Take care those of you who feel unworthy, take heart those of you who feel that God could never love you; your adoption has nothing to do with your worthiness. You have been adopted in love and not the conditional love of this world but the love of a God who has destined you from the beginning of time for something great. You have been predestined to be a child of God. If you love him tonight you can know this, though you were dead you have been made alive, though you were an orphan you have been made a child of God. Hear this truth today. All of you who love Jesus hear that you have been adopted as children of God. Hear it. Please, the call is out there, the call is for everyone, the call is to come to God the father through Jesus Christ. Listen to the words of John 1:12 “But to all who did receive Jesus, who believed on his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” To all who believed in Jesus, God has given the right to be his children. That means for all of you who have truly trusted in Jesus you have been adopted.
Guys we have been adopted by God. Hear that news. You no longer have to live like an orphan. You can now live like a son or daughter of the king. Please hear this good news. You see for many of us these things are true and yet we do not live like they are true. You see for all of us who are in Christ we have been adopted by God and as God’s adopted children we have been given all the rights of a first-born son. We have been cleansed of our sin and we now stand before Holy God in the perfect righteousness of his son. We have been chosen in Jesus before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before our God. These things are true. They are true of us and yet we live like orphans. We live like orphans because even though they are true they are so hard to believe. We are surrounded by conditional love, surrounded by rejection, surrounded by Satan always accusing us and causing us to doubt the love, which the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called his children. You see the love of others is closer, it is more tangible, it seems more real so often than God’s love and so we find ourselves associating the way others love us and the way others feel about us with the way God must feel about us.
We find that because others reject us we feel God must reject us, because our earthly father’s left us we feel God will leave us. Because our earthly friends are too busy for us we feel like God is too busy for us and so we find ourselves living like orphans. We live afraid of rejection, we live defensive lives always trying to hide behind superficial things so that we never truly allow our deep secrets to be exposed.
Oh my friends it is so easy to live like orphans. It is so easy to live like orphans even when we are truly loved by our good and perfect Father. I have known what it is like to live like an orphan when there was absolutely no reason in the world to do it. I will never forget the first few years of my life in California. It was absolutely insane. I was thrown into leading a youth group that grew to over fifty kids, I was in seminary full time and I was coaching basketball twenty hours a week at the high school. And not only was I doing way more than I should have been, I was trying to do it perfect. I had to win every game, I had to get straight A’s, and I had to run the youth group perfectly. I would try so hard and there were times of failure when I would find myself absolutely devastated but the whole while I tried to keep a relaxed cool by putting off an ‘I’m not trying too hard attitude’ toward everything. And so I was living a life dominated by trying to be perfect, while acting like I didn’t really put much effort into anything. Just to give you an example, for one whole year of my life I wrote my Sunday morning sermon at the church on Saturday nights from midnight till eight in the morning then I would begin to set up and then preach the message. That was just my weekly schedule but few if any knew it. I had that inexplicable drive to succeed, win, or prove yourself that we talked about as part of the orphan spirit.
I had no idea why I felt the way I felt, I just did. Then my parents and my brother came out to visit one week and we were all sitting at a breakfast restaurant and talking. And my dad grew serious for a moment and said something I will never forget. I cannot fathom how it affected me. He looked at me and he looked at my brother and he said, “It’s enough. It’s enough. OK? You don’t have to do anything else, you don’t have to be a pastor, Matt you don’t have to go back to Sudan and be a missionary, Enough. Ok? It’s enough. We love you. We are proud of you. Please, please know that. Please don’t feel like you have to do anything else, please, it’s enough.” My brother and I sat there and we just balled. I had no idea how tightly I was wound up trying to gain my dads approval. I had no idea how deeply seeded the drive to have my dad be proud of me was inside of me. And I never thought it would be enough. And the freedom, the release, oh you can’t explain it. It was the most amazing thing you can imagine. One of my favorite words is “enough.” Just the thought that it is finished, its enough, I didn’t have to earn my dads approval but that he loved me and he would keep loving me no matter what.
Oh my friends I want you to listen to your Father this evening. I want you to listen to him because he has a message for you tonight and his message is this: It’s enough. His message is that you don’t have to earn his approval; you don’t have to gain his love. You don’t have to work to sit at his table and eat with him like one of his children. No, stop. Stop all your labors, all your anxiety, all your passionate longing to be approved. Stop comparing yourself to others, stop trying to pray enough, read enough, and say enough cool things about Jesus. Stop lying and trying to cover your sin, He sees it and yet he says you can eat at his table. He knows you are lame, he knows your sins, he sees your shameful nakedness and says, “Nevertheless I love you.” You are precious in my sight and I love you. Those are the words of your Father. He has chosen you. You by name, he knit you together in your mother’s womb, knowing this one I have adopted. This one I have cleansed. All your failures, all of them have been washed in the precious blood of his only begotten son, so that when you sit at his table it is no longer as a cripple that you sit there but as a holy and blameless son or daughter. Listen, please listen, you are no longer a slave, no longer an orphan, no longer do you need to try and win God’s approval, if you love Jesus you are a son or daughter, he is your Father and he has adopted you through the death of his only begotten son.
I know that words are cheap for orphans. I know you have been hurt. I know you feel like a dead dog and wonder how it is that God could possibly love you. I know. And so I come to you today to tell you that your father has not merely told you that you can eat at his table always. He has not merely said that he is going to adopt you. He has acted. Listen to Galatians 4:4-6 “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying “Abba Father!” So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.
Do you hear that? We are adopted. We are no longer slaves. He has sent his only son in order to live the perfect life that we couldn’t. He has become a cripple in order to give us back our legs, he has died in order to restore our life, and he has become sin in order to wash us white as snow. Oh my friends while we were yet sinners, aliens, without hope our savior has come and given his life for us so that we might be adopted as children through his death and resurrection. It is his righteousness that we now wear. Do you understand that? You are wearing the righteousness of the beloved. That means that we are not merely holy and blameless before God but we have been adopted as sons and daughters, and not merely sons and daughters but we have been adopted though the beloved and now we too are beloved by our Father. What God spoke to his perfect son he says to us. And so he speaks to us in our fears and says, “You are my beloved children in whom I am well pleased.” You see because we come before him in the righteousness of Jesus he is well pleased with us.
That is what Jesus meant when he said, “It is finished.” He meant enough. It’s enough. Now in him we are complete. We can stop trying to earn his approval, we can stop moping around because we feel dirty, we can stop being afraid of what others will think of us because we are loved by the creator of heaven and earth. Oh my friends if you are in Christ then you have been adopted. Know that. Feel that truth today. Feel your father saying “enough.” Feel your father saying, you are my beloved child. Feel it and know that you no longer have to live like an orphan. Let all your insecurities fly away because your father loves you. Feel the protection that comes from sitting on his lap. If God your Father is for you who can be against you? Don’t be afraid anymore. Stop trying to prove your worth, stop building walls between you and others; you don’t have to be afraid. God is for you, what can people do to you? Guys please know the joy of being a son or daughter. Know it. Know what it is like to eat at your father’s table always.
Please, please stop eating at the table of this world. Stop eating their junk. Stop, please, you have been invited to dine with your Father. Come back to him. Even tonight if you have spent this week dining at the table of this world. If you have spent this week in fear, trying to earn back God’s approval, afraid that he is angry with you for your failure, please my friends come back to his table. Come back and eat with him. He has given his only son in order to feed you at his table. He has given his only son so that he might welcome you as his beloved.
He is a good Father. He has good plans for you. He will work everything; even the pain and suffering you are currently going though, out for your good and his glory. Guys we have a Father. For those of you with the best fathers in the world, you have a better father. Oh that you would know that every good trait in your dad is but a foretaste, a little drop of the unsearchable riches of the love of God the Father has for you. And for those of you who no longer have Fathers. For those of you who know what it means to live like an orphan. For those of you who have tasted and drunk deeply of the loneliness and the insecurities that come from abandonment, I tell you today you have a Father. You have a Father and he loves you very much and he calls for you to know the height and depth of his love. He comes to you and says “enough.” Stop running, stop hiding, stop trying, stop being afraid. He comes to you and says, “You are precious in my sight and I love you.” Through the death of his Son he has clothed you with beauty and he now says to you, “You are my beloved son” you are my beloved daughter.” Oh my friends call out to him as your Father. He is your Father. He loves you as you have never been loved. Stop searching for love at the table of this world and dine always with your God. Stop living like an orphan and know the joy of being a child of the king.
And know that the reason he has adopted you, the reason he has given his Son to die upon a cross so that he might wash you with his blood is because your God is a God of grace and he has proven that by lavishing it upon you. Our God is a God of grace. Oh he is glorious, he is holy, he is just, he is eternal, and he is a God of grace and tonight he is calling us to praise his glorious grace. To praise him in all his glory because he is gracious. Do you remember when God hid Moses in the cleft of the rock and then allowed his glory to pass before him? Do you remember what God said as his glory passed before Moses? He said, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin…” Oh my friends that is your God. His glory is full of grace and we know that this is true because he has adopted us, even though we were dead in our sins and trespasses. Oh tonight I pray that you will come to his table. He invites all who know and love Jesus above everything else to come to his table. He invites all who have been washed in his blood and now stand holy and blameless before God to come to his table. He invites you to come tonight to his table and remember the cost of your invitation. You have been adopted “through Christ.” It was his broken body that paved the way for your adoption. And so after you come to the table and dine with your father tonight. After you come as his beloved children and remember his amazing gift to you. I want you to return to your seats and together I want to praise his glorious grace. That is why he has adopted us. That is what adopted children are to do. To praise his glorious grace. We can’t praise his grace when we try and earn his love, we can’t praise his grace when we are moping around because of our failure, and we can’t praise his grace when we live lives of insecurity. His grace makes us secure. We cannot praise his grace as orphans. It is children who praise his grace and so I beg that we will let go. That we will believe the promises of our God and live like children and no longer like orphans. As children let us praise his grace together tonight.
[1] The Strategic Shift From an Orphan Spirit to the Spirit of Adoption
Feb. 3, 2008, Andrew Gross
0 Comments | Login to Post Comments