Biblical Femininity (SDSU)

  • Dec 3, 2006
  • Series: SDSU

INTRODUCTION 

Everything that we discuss today is highly controversial and, for some, this may be extremely offensive.  Since the Bible says the Gospel is offensive, since Jesus offended many, and since the apostles and prophets were at times offensive, I have comfort that I am in good company. 

Some may find themselves immediately discounting what I have to say this morning simply because I would dare use the words "biblical" and "femininity" together as the title of this teaching. 

I ask that you give me your attention and stay with me for the next hour or so to hear my case in total. 

This may feel like a root canal to some of you-you know it's going to hurt, but necessary for health.  Hang with me. 

Let's pray and we'll jump right in. 

STUDY 

Over the last year we have taken the men through several studies that relate to biblical masculinity.  We are now in our once a month study which we appropriately call "boot camp," since there is quite of bit of the boot meeting parts of our anatomy that are tender. 

I say this only because I don't want you ladies to think we are picking on you.  There are only two sexes, and eventually you knew this was coming.  We did feel that in order for us to confidently teach on this subject, we needed to prepare the men and grow them so that as we pull the pin on the grenade this morning, they are strong enough men to accept whatever shrapnel comes their way. 

We'll begin in the books of Genesis and I'll tell you about God:  

About God 

The Scripture is clear that there is one God, and that this God exists in three persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 

We see this in Genesis, the book of beginnings, where God the Father speaks in chapter one.  We know from John 1:1 and Colossians 1:16 that Jesus is the Word of God and the agent of creation, and we know that the Holy Spirit hovered above the water, bringing order out of chaos. 

Another example is found in Ephesians 1:3-14, where we are told the Father chose and predestined us for adoption through the Son Jesus Christ, and we are then sealed by the Holy Spirit. 

We also see in Christ's baptism the Father speaking, the Spirit descending and Jesus on earth as He came in the likeness of men being baptized. 

The Scriptures are very clear.  Deuteronomy 6:4 says, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 

There is one God: Father, Son and Spirit.   

They are absolutely equal in every way.  They are each eternal, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, and each participate in creation, salvation and judgment of this world. 

But we know from Scripture that though they are equal, each has a different role and function.   

The Father does not die on the cross.  The Holy Spirit is not birthed from the womb of Mary, yet they are still equal though different in respect to what they did and what they do.   

This demonstrates that there can be such a thing as equality yet difference in role and function; there can be such a thing as oneness while having more than one person in unity, as is true in the image of man and woman. 

As God is one, the man and woman are supposed to be in marriage, "echad," which means one.  They are to be one and God is one. 
 
About Man and Woman 

Once you understand that picture of God, and you learn in Genesis that man and woman are to be created in the image of God, this makes sense.  Without understanding who God is, this is non-sense. 

We are a shadow of God's nature.  We carry with us certain attributes that mirror God.  We are not little gods, but we reflect some of the attributes of God.  We, as humans created in His image, have the potential of showing some of what God is like. 

What we see in the Trinity is a difference; what we see in man created in God's image is man and woman having a difference.  That difference does not mean they are unequal.  It only means what should be plain and simple to each of us-different. 

Our culture struggles with this.  It doesn't understand how you can be equal yet different.  Yet, in God they are. 

As God is One in Three, equal yet different, so man and woman in the marriage covenant are equal before Him yet different, with different roles and functions. 

What we see in Genesis is God creating man and woman.  In so doing, He creates them equal in His eyes and as equal image bearers. 

A woman does not need to lift heavy weights and eat red meat to be equal with a man before God, nor does she need to be just as skilled in hand-to-hand combat to win equality with him.  Nor does a man need to give birth to children to be equal with a woman-as a man, I say, "praise God!" 

They are equal already by the fact God has created them as such. 

God does, however, give different domains to the woman as He gives different domains to the man.  Since this is a study about biblical femininity we'll look at those domains in no special order. 

God Given Roles for Women 

  1. She is to be a mother

We are told in Genesis 1:28 that the man and woman are to be, "fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it." 

We learn through the rest of Scripture that the woman is not to just give birth to children, but to give birth to godly children, and in so doing God populates His world with children that honor Him and serve Him.  This is a cultural and dominion mandate from God.  Build a God-glorifying culture through the bearing of children and have care and dominion over His creation. 

  1. She is to be a wife

We are told in Genesis 2:18 that God said, "it is not good that man be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." 

God created for Adam a beautiful woman that was his helper suitable.  She was taken from his side because she does not belong in front of him ruling over and controlling him, nor does she belong behind him as a denigrated, useless companion.  She is to be by his side, along side, before men and God. 

She is the other half of him. 

In the sexual union the two become one flesh, and what was taken from the man is rejoined to him as one. 

She is to "complete him" ala Jerry McGuire!  And this role as wife is a high and glorious calling. 

Some view this calling to be a helper as a denigrating term.  As God has called her a helper, it is perceived as a worthless, useless title or role. 

Our society attempts to redefine this role because it doesn't like the idea of being a "helper."  Some mislead Christians, in their gender-neutral propaganda, try to rework this role, idea and word so there will be no such use of the world "helper." 

In doing so, they fail to realize that in Psalms and Proverbs our God is called Helper, and in John, Christ teaches that when he ascends to the Father He will send the Helper to us. 

Not allowing yourself to be called helper is an attempt to lift yourself beyond the self-description of our own God. 

Likewise, those that would say women are weak, women are second class, women are not as important as men, do not understand they are insulting the Spirit of the living God. 

We would never say the Spirit of God is the fruitless, useless, weak, and second class, part of the Godhead!  Nothing gets done without the Spirit, yet that Spirit is called Helper. 

As the man is called to be like Christ, so the woman is called to be like the Holy Spirit.  As the man is to honor and serve Christ and give himself to the woman as Christ gave Himself for the Church, so the woman is to help him do that and to help in the work that God has laid before each of them as a family. 

Ladies, when you hear the word helper, don't think of it as a denigrating term; think of your Triune God! 

Women are naturally suited for this role.  Often when you see a woman enter the marketplace what type or job usually interests her?  A job in which she can help!  It is no wonder; it is how she was designed. 

Additionally... 

  1. She is to be a daughter of God

Along with being a mother and being a wife, she is to be a daughter of the God who made her. 

She is to love God, follow God, and submit to God as her Father as she lives according to created design. 

Lastly... 

  1. She is to be a sexual wife

You read this in the Song of Solomon, as she does a majority of the speaking and initiates with sexual advances and entices her husband with sexual actions. 

She is very free and liberated because she loves God and is married and does not have to hide her desires or stifle her sexual pleasures because she has no guilt. 

This notion that sex is best when it is forbidden is a lie that should be sent to the pits from which it came. 

A woman who is married and loves God should be free and liberated to give her body to her husband without shame and guilt. 

The two are supposed to become one; that is how God has created our anatomy and that is how God has decided to join as one together in union in His covenant. 

In Genesis 2:25 we read that man and woman were, "naked and without shame." 

Those are the initial descriptions of woman in Genesis:  wife, mother, Christian, lover.  That's who she is. 

The Fall 

In Genesis 3, Satan comes as a serpent and lies to the woman.  He twists what God has said and tells her a lie about God and about herself.  He tells her that she would be better off as an individual with autonomy.  She would be better off if she were independent.  If she separated herself from God and if she separated herself from her husband she would be truly liberated and free. 

He tells her that she can be like God, knowing the difference between good and evil, which is another way of saying that she would know everything. 


She could then make her own decisions, live out her own plan, and determine how she wants to live.  She believes the lie, and because of sin, she is separated from God and from her husband. 

Then they hide from one another because of their shame of being naked, and they hide from God.  This state of man and woman out of Christ is the same.  They are still trying to hide who they really are from each other, and they are trying to hide from God who knows and sees all things.  Foolish isn't it? 

Her sin has made her independent, but it isn't an independence to brag about.  If you let your four-year old rip from your grip because they want to be independent and run out in the middle of a busy street, you will see how there is such a thing as a bad independence. 

When a husband and a wife are independent and running from each other and from God, it is not a good independence. 

It is an allusion of freedom when in reality it is slavery.  It is not a comfort; it is a danger.   

The Curse 

After the man and woman sin and transgress God's clear instruction, God curses serpent, the woman and the man. 

In Genesis 3:15 we are told that God curses the serpent and declares that there will be enmity between her seed (who we know in the New Testament is the coming Christ) and his seed, that Christ will bruise his head and we know ultimately crush him, and that the serpent will bruise His heel; he will harm Christ as we read through the gospels. 

God then curses the man and woman, but they are different curses because they have different domains and roles that they work in. 

The woman's primary domain is homeward and the man's primary domain is toward the marketplace. 

God curses the man in regards to his marketplace; he curses his work.   

God curses the ground underneath him.  It will not longer be easy to provide for the family.  It will now become difficult to work a job, to feed the kids, to pay for the bills, to buy a home, to plan for a retirement.   Amen?   

For the woman, her curse is related to her homeward orientation, so her curse is directed towards her children and her husband. 

Genesis 3:16 says the God will, "increase her pain and sorrow at birth."  Is this true?  Yes it is! 

I told you about my wife's hand biting incident in the hospital when she mistook my digits for a double-double and tried to take a chunk out of my hand. 

This is why when you see women sitting around talking about the birth of their child; it is almost the same conversation as men sitting around the table at the VFW hall talking about war.  The conversation is the same: "twenty-four hours in the trenches, almost cost me my life, I've got a scar, you want to see it?"   

A woman preparing for birth is a person preparing for war.  It is painful and difficult because of the curse. 

In addition, she is cursed regarding her husband. 

Again in Genesis 3:16 we read that her, "desire will be for her husband. And he will rule over you." 

Her desire will be to rule over him.   

Some of you are saying you are only trying to help.  Don't fool yourself; you are trying to rule him and God said you would.  It is no surprise, it is no wonder, and it is no mystery.  It is simply a result of sin. 

The word that is used for "desire" is te-shew-kaw (teshuwqah), it is the same word that is used in the next chapter in 4:7 when speaking of sin's desire to rule over Cain. 

In the same way the woman wants to master her husband and rule over him as sin did Cain.   

This is why we have gender wars, feminism, and chauvinism.  It is because there is conflict between a man and a woman.    

Adam was a silent, passive, coward that stood their while the enemy lied to his wife and he did nothing.  Not only did he do nothing, he participated by eating the fruit knowing good and well he was not supposed to.  He failed his duty to God and in so doing failed his duty to his wife. 

In 1 Timothy 2, and 2 Corinthians 11, Paul says that Eve was deceived.  She believed a lie.  She fell into a trap of what was not true. 

You could easily make the argument that Eve was trying to help, she didn't mean to ruin the world.  She thought she was doing something good.  The effect of breaking God's law is still punishment, but her reason for doing it may have not been with purely wicked intent. 

I say this not for sympathy for Eve, but because I think women do this often.  They sin when they think they are trying to help.   

I'm sure you can think of women that thought they were helping their husband and marriage when in fact they were harming it with their actions and words. 

"I want him to mature, so I'm going to tell him until he dies, at least 375 times per day to ‘grow up.'"   

"I want him to be more like Christ, so I'm going to tell him constantly that he isn't and that he really should be." 

"I want him to read his Bible more, so I'm going to ask him as many times as I can remember to check and see if he did."   

The irony is of course that in her reminding him to read his Bible, she is so consumed with him she doesn't remember herself. 

I remember when I used to sit in prayer meetings as an intern pastor and I would get so upset when people weren't closing their eyes in prayer.  The problem was how did I know they weren't closing their eyes?  Yep, mine were open, watching out for those that might have open eyes in prayer. 

For the ladies, what I am saying is that there is a good possibility that you are not doing things to harm intentionally, but have been deceived like Eve, by the lies of the "father of lies," and like Eve, you think you are helping by believing these lies and trying to apply them to your relationship and life. 

You are likely still sinning, but with good intentions.  What road is paved with good intentions?   

Good motives without biblical wisdom are not enough to produce holiness and righteousness and godly conduct before God. 

Here are some examples of the lies you may have believed.   

Lies from the liar 

Let me say again, the woman's primary domain is homeward; the man's primary domain is marketplace in Scripture.   

What does society say is more valued, home or marketplace? 

In the Bible what is more valued, home or marketplace? 

Let's look at some of these lies: 

Regarding Gender 

  • There is no such thing as gender difference, but rather mere cultural conditioning.
  • To be equal men and women must be the same.
  • The traditional woman is a biblical woman.
  • Women should be masculine and men should be feminine.
  • Women are an oppressed minority group needing preferential entitlements.
  • Women's groups have the right to speak on behalf of all women.

Regarding Work 

  • The workplace is more important than the home.
  • A woman does not have a career or ministry unless she works outside of the home.
  • Every family needs two incomes to have a decent life.
  • Being a housewife is an outdated and degrading career.
  • Teaching in the domestics will do a disservice to women.
  • The workplace should be more home-like to best accommodate women.

Regarding Sexuality 

  • A woman's body belongs to her.
  • Women should be sexually promiscuous like men.
  • Heterosexuality is less satisfying for a woman both sexually and emotionally.

- Pornography is exploding in spite of feminism, especially within the female demographic.

Regarding Marriage 

  • Women should never be financially dependent upon men.
  • No fault divorce frees women to be independent.
  • Household duties should be divided equally between the man and woman, like roommates.

Regarding Motherhood 

  • Professionals can better raise children than mothers.
  • Children are a burden and limit the freedom and independence of women.
  • Being a wife and mother is a great sacrifice.
  • Schools and daycares should extend hours and services to free career women for more work.

Regarding Men 

  • Men who support these lies do so because they love women.

Ladies, here are some women in Proverbs that you do not want to be like.  Listen and see if you know any of these women or if they sound at all like you. 

Ungodly Women in Proverbs 

The Foolish Woman 

  • Proverbs 9:13-18: "The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without knowledge. She sits at the door of her house, on a seat at the highest point of the city, calling out to those who pass by, who go straight on their way. ‘Let all who are simple come in here!' she says to those who lack judgment. ‘Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!' But little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of the grave."

The Embarrassing Woman 

  • Proverbs 11:22: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

The Easy Woman 

  • Proverbs 23:26-28: "My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways, for a prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well. Like a bandit she lies in wait, and multiplies the unfaithful among men."
  • Proverbs 29:3: "A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth."

The Expensive Woman 

  • Proverbs 31:3: "...do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings."

 

The Quarrelsome Woman 

  • Proverbs 25:24: "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
  • Proverbs 19:13: "A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping."

The Moody Woman 

  • Proverbs 21:19-20: "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.  In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has."

The Flirtatious Woman 

  • Proverbs 5:3-5: "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave."
  • Proverbs 7:10: "Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent."

Let's look at what godly woman in Proverbs looks like.  This is the kind of woman you want to be.  Ask yourself if you know anyone that has these traits, or if you have these traits. 

I want to thank Pastor Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church in Seattle for his efforts to teach so faithfully on issues of Biblical roles.  This study was in many ways influenced by his message on Biblical Femininity.

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