Gospel-Centered Sex (SDSU)
- David Fairchild
- Feb 4, 2007
- Series: SDSU
"Christianity agrees… that this universe is at war. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage." - C.S. Lewis
A City in a City
The purpose of the Christian Church is not to function as a chaplaincy for those who are barely hanging on to their faith. It is not intended to act as a safe-house where we gather to clean off the filth from the world around us.
The Christian community is not to be seen primarily as a support group where we receive inspiration and affirmation for living our individual lives. Though the community may provide all these personal blessings and more, the Christian community is intended to reflect a new way of being human to this world. We are to be an alternate city within San Diego, where we are demonstrating what a truly human society looks like. We are more than a support group for individuals, rather we as individuals are to gather together into a community and put on display what a society looks like when it is transformed by the Gospel. Simply, we are a counter-culture.
Since we are an alternate city, we are to show this city what it looks like when justice, mercy, compassion, truth, love, grace, and holiness reign.
In our day, what cities and citizens value and find themselves spending their lives pursuing, acquiring and attempting to manage is money, sex, and power.
Freed and Reshaped
The beauty of the Gospel is that it frees us from the strangle hold of money, sex and power then reshapes us so that we can view these three things with totally different perspectives and values. Paul says as much in 1 Corinthians 7:29-31.
1 Corinthians 7:29-31: “This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.”
Freed from Money, Sex and Power
At first pass this verse seems confusing at best, contradictory to the rest of Scripture at worst. What Paul is doing is teaching us about money, sex, power, and our relationship to them.
What Paul is saying is that the Gospel frees you from deriving too much of your hope, too much of your joy, and too much of your meaning from money, sex, and power. Paul is telling us that money, sex, and power are to be demoted in our lives from the central place they once occupied in our lives.
It is when we lose the conviction of the Gospel that we find other ways to make ourselves righteous. The false gospel teaches us that we are to believe, perform, so that we might receive salvation. The true Gospel teaches us that we believe, are saved, and then perform not to receive but because we have received. This motivation changes the way we view everything we touch in this life.
Money, sex, and power become demoted because they are no longer the values that give us our sense of meaning, joy, or our sense of righteousness before God, others, or ourselves. Paul shows us that when the Gospel comes in and we really believe its message, we can keep a loose grip on these things. You can buy things, but not be overly enamored by them. You can have a spouse, but not place your identity or your ultimate meaning and joy in her. You can look at your family, your kids, your job, your possessions and say with all honesty that as valuable as those things are, they are not your true life, not anymore. To the degree that we grasp the Gospel, we will begin to see true freedom from the slavery of having our identity wrapped in changing circumstances.
Reshaping Our View and Use of Money, Sex, and Power
Because of the freedom won by Christ and the power of the cross, we can use money, sex, and power to build a truly human community rather than pursuing it only for our own personal needs and pleasure. This will look very different than the values of the world—it must since God is shaping it and not our own selfish interests.
Let’s look at each of the three (money, sex, power) to understand the world’s view and to discover God’s view.
First let’s start with the most popular: sex.
This World’s View of Sex
There are three dominant views of sex in our day which make up most, though not all, of the various opinions in our city.
1- Sexual Realism- Which treats sex as nothing more than just an appetite. This was a popular Roman view. The problem, in this view, is that sex needs to be more accessible. Your economic or social status is to blame. This developed into a pragmatic hedonism in our day.
This view sees sex as inevitable, part of human desire and nature, something to be embraced like our need to eat or breathe. Since you can’t stop it, allow it to become whatever the desire leads to.
In this view, all sex is right if it is safe.
2- Sexual Platonism- Which sees sex as an animal passion that lowers us. This was a popular Greek view. The problem, in this view, is that sex needs to be less accessible. The body is to blame. This blossomed into Victorianism and in our day is more prevalent in fundamentalism.
This view sees sex as a necessary evil since it’s the only way to procreate. This view disdains sexuality but tolerates it so we have a legacy in our children.
In this view, all sex is wrong unless you are attempting to have children.
3- Sexual Romanticism- Which sees sex as repressed creativity. This was a popular European view. The problem, in this view, is that each human being is born with a healthy sexual desire, but it is twisted by the influence of society and its pressures. The world is to blame (but primarily religion). This blossomed into new forms of mysticism and in our day relativistic post-modernism.
This view sees sex as creative self-expression which gives us a sense of being alive. Personal liberty is considered a high value.
In this view, the quality of love and connection is the benefit of sex.
The Gospel critiques each of these views and dares to say they are all wrong. The Gospel is incredibly unique in how it approaches and views sex and sexuality.
Contrary to the Sexual Realists, the Gospel teaches us that our appetites are not good guides to make wise decisions. We abuse our appetites, even if those appetites are a good and necessary part of our preservation. We twist appetites and eat when we should say no, and say no when we should eat. There is more to us than just our simple biological appetites.
If this is true with our eating and drinking, how much more is this true when broaching the subject of sex? We know that sex is more than just physiological impulses. Sex is highly emotional, highly psychological, and highly physical. Sex is more than an appetite and therefore we shouldn’t attempt to trust such a complicated desire to teach us its true meaning when our appetites often lead us to destruction rather than nourishment. Can our appetites truly be trusted?
Contrary to Sexual Platonists, the Gospel shows us that sex is very good. The Bible has numerous places which speak about sex as a good gift from a good God to enjoy.
The Gospel View of Sex
Contrary to Sexual Romantics, the Gospel teaches us that love and sex are more than just personal and individual blessings. They are designed to build and strengthen a community. God created sexuality to build community and not just to personally satisfy you.
Sex is more than just for pleasure (as a man might assume) and more than just for fulfillment (which a woman might assume). Both fall short of teaching us what sex is designed for, which is the building of an alternate community.
How does sex build community?
1- Sex is for expanding community.
Sex is sacred in the Christian community because the act of sex is intended to co-create additional souls. You can eat all you want and all you’ll create is a large belly. But, when two people come together in sexual union they have the capacity to do what no other appetite is designed to do: create a new life. Sex expands the human community, which expands the Christian community by God’s grace.
Let us not forget though, that if you are single and yet radically committed to the Church, though you may never have physical children, you may have a multitude of spiritual children which expands the Kingdom of God and advances the Gospel. A single Christian can have a greater impact for the Kingdom than a dozen families if they are wholly committed to the mission of Christ to this world. Christianity legitimizes singleness and gives great value to those who may never be able to physically bear children. This is a unique Gospel perspective. The expansion of Christ’s community whether through bearing children, adopting children, or spiritually parenting our brothers and sisters is of great value to our Father.
Sex, however, is given to us to enjoy so that we may experience the physical pleasure of what is to be intensified through spiritual pleasure in the expansion of the Kingdom. Our physical enjoyment should pale in comparison to the spiritual satisfaction we receive when one person repents and believes and is adopted into our family, God’s family.
Our motivation then for sexual fidelity is radically different from that of the world or that of religious fundamentalism. In fundamentalism, we are to abstain from sex outside of marriage because it hurts the family. But with a Gospel motivation, the reason for abstaining from sex outside of marriage is because it hurts the Kingdom. Why?
A- Because it undermines the character and quality of the Kingdom which is intended to build community
When you have sex with your covenant spouse, it strengthens your ability to be a witness to this world as it stabilizes and strengthens your community.
When you have sex with someone that is not your covenant spouse, you are weakening the trust and witness of that community and instead of strengthening the community to be a witness to the world, the world stands in judgment of us. Sex outside of marriage undermines stability, community and the character and quality of faithfulness to God and as a witness.
Sex then, can make you more or less faithful as a witness depending upon how you use it.
B- Because sex outside of marriage obscures the Gospel
Christ never gives Himself intimately to anyone who is not part of His covenant. The faithful union we have in Christ is to be reflected in the faithful union we have with our covenant spouse. Christ never cheats on His bride, nor does He give the benefits of Himself as a Groom to anyone but His own bride.
When we have sex outside of marriage we make Christ look like a cheating husband because we are to reflect the Gospel to this world.
Sex is designed to show off the intimacy we have with our God. It is a joining together as two into one in an exclusive, committed relationship. God constantly uses language of intimacy and commitment to those who are His; therefore, we are to value intimacy and commitment to one spouse only in the context of a covenant union in the same way.
2- Sex Solidifies Community
Sex is intended to be a covenant renewal ceremony. Baptism is when we make our public commitment to Christ, like a marriage in many ways, and communion is when we lovingly reflect, renew, and are nourished through the physical act of taking the Lord’s body, much like the physical act of sex for a couple. Marriage is the public proclamation and commitment to one another; sex is the renewing ceremony to solidify that commitment.
Sex is then intended also as a way in which we strengthen and cement our community. Sex, therefore, is not intended to be a creative self-expression; rather, it is a renewing of your self-donation. In marriage you give yourself one to the other; in sex, you are renewing that self-donation.
3- Sex Sweetens Community
There is no view of sex in all other religions or worldviews that is as robust as that of the Biblical view of sex.
Because we have a Trinitarian God, who for eternity has enjoyed an intimate Triune community of Father, Son, and Spirit, pouring love into each other in a joyous donation of one for the other, we can see the true meaning of sex. Sex between a man and woman points to the love between the Father and the Son as well as that between Christ and the believer.
Sex can then be enjoyed often and in proper glory to God and joy for both partners if it is seen through the lens of the Gospel. Through such a lens, sex is given meaning and value beyond the mere physical appetite or desire, beyond the mere purpose of procreation, and beyond selfish self-expression. To truly have great sex, one must learn that purpose of it through the redemption accomplished and applied by the One groom for the one bride in loving union, intimacy and commitment for all eternity.
How did Rome, with all its decadence and slavery and immorality, turn Christian within a couple of hundred years? Because of radically generous Christians. And no one could match the beauty of these early Christians. Their lifestyle was startling, gorgeous, beautiful, sparkling and incredibly attractive, even if you hated them. People would look at them and ask what happened inside of them that made them so quick to give their lives and money away.
An early Pagan writer even called Christians their own "genus," or in other words, they were their own species. Why would he say that? He said it because Christians didn't keep their Christianity private. It shaped their culture publicly and they created a counter culture which had entirely different values than the culture at large. Rodney Stark and other anthropologists tell us that there were ten main differences between the church and the world:
1- They refused to attend blood thirsty entertainment. They wouldn't go to gladiatorial events because they believed it defiled humans who were created in the image of God. This made them appear to be anti-social. Tertullian and Augustine both wrote about these events in a negative light.
2- They did not serve in the military to support Caesar's wars of conquest, which made them appear weak.
3- They were against abortion and infanticide. In this culture, both were considered acceptable. To throw your baby out on the dung heap if you didn't want it was not taboo.
4- They empowered women by showing their value and dignity in places of learning and service which had previously been exclusively for men. Christians held women in high regard and treasured them rather than viewing them as just a step above expendable children and servants.
5- They were against sex outside of marriage. This fidelity was considered odd and against culture. Sex was viewed as nothing more than a desire like eating or sleeping. Christians held a high view of the bed and kept it pure and would not engage in sex outside of marriage.
6- They were against homosexual relationships. This was odd in a time when same sex practice was not frowned upon.
7- They were exceptionally generous with their resources. They shared what they had with one another and welcomed others in with a hospitality that was unparalleled.
8- They were radically for the poor. In a time when the poor and downtrodden were viewed as getting what they deserved, they were aggressively committed to loving and serving people in the margins of society.
9- They mixed races and social classes in ways that were unseen in their gatherings, and for it they were considered scandalous.
10- They believed only Christ was the way to salvation. This was in a time when everyone had a god and could believe something entirely different and it was totally acceptable to be polytheists and pluralistic. Christians dared claim that Jesus was the only way and refused to bend to other gods.
Twenty to thirty years after the Apostle John died, there was a letter written to explain what was going on in the spread of the Church. It was a description of the church that was immensely attractive and gives us a glimpse as to how the Church grew so rapidly and caused many to be curious about Christ. It is called:
The Epistle to Diognetus, c. AD 130
"For the Christians are distinguished from other men neither by country, nor language, nor the customs which they observe. For they neither inhabit cities of their own, nor employ a peculiar form of speech, nor lead a life which is marked out by any singularity. The course of conduct which they follow has not been devised by any speculation or deliberation of inquisitive men; nor do they, like some, proclaim themselves the advocates of any merely human doctrines. But, inhabiting Greek as well as barbarian cities, according as the lot of each of them has determined and following the customs of the natives in respect to clothing, food, and the rest of their ordinary conduct, they display to us their wonderful and confessedly striking method of life.
"They dwell in their own countries, but simply as sojourners. As citizens, they share in all things with others and yet suffer all things as if foreigners. Every foreign land is to them as their native country, and every land of their birth as a land of strangers. They marry, as do all others; they beget children; but they do not destroy their babies. They share their table with all, but not their bed with all. They are in the flesh, but they do not live after the flesh. They pass their days on earth, but they are citizens of heaven. They obey the prescribed laws, and at the same time surpass the laws by their exemplary lives. They love all men and yet are persecuted by all. They are unknown and condemned; they are put to death and restored to life. They are poor yet make many rich; they are in lack of all things and yet abound in all; they are dishonored and yet in their very dishonor are glorified. They are evil spoken of and yet are justified; they are reviled and bless; they are insulted and repay the insult with honor; they do good yet are punished as evildoers. When punished, they rejoice as if quickened into life; they are assailed by the Jews as foreigners and are persecuted by the Greeks; yet those who hate them are unable to assign any reason for their hatred. To sum it all up in one word-what the soul is to the body, that are Christians in the world."
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